LITTLE MAN
EXERT & EXHALE
By Jim Biery
THE BOYS OF
SUMMER HAVE
IT MADE
inally, summer has arrived
after a spring that felt more
like fall or winter. Now
that I have referenced all
the seasons in just one
sentence, let’s talk baseball.
America’s pastime has begun it’s rather lengthy
162-game season. That is a 26-week long season,
and then the playoffs begin. I feel like that borders
on the “too much of a good thing” theory. Major
League Baseball (MLB) is the only major sports
league that starts and ends in the same calendar
year. (FYI: That nugget of knowledge could win
a trivia contest question for you.
Standing in the warm sun on top of perfectly
manicured grass and a nice breeze carrying the
sounds of all the people in the stand – now that
is what I call a friendly office environment! But
this is far from what most of us recognize as an
office setting. This is what the lucky few get to
enjoy when they get the call up from the minor
leagues to the “big show.”
Like a lot of kids, I grew up playing baseball,
starting with tee ball, where a handful of kids on
each team were more concerned with building
dirt piles in the infield or looking for ladybugs in
the outfield, to Little League, where my interest
began to drop off. The reason for this is the same
F
48 EXTOL : JUNE/JULY 2018
reason I struggle with following and watching the
MLB on a consistent basis: not enough activity.
If you have watched a MLB game at any point,
you should notice one thing. Basically, everyone
playing the game is standing around. In between
pitches the only thing that happens is grown men
either spitting tobacco or “adjusting” things in
their uniform. Now, what a grown man does is
his own business. However, when these grown
men make an average of over $4 million a year,
I’d like a better return for my investment to watch
the game.
In 2017, Forbes magazine reported that season
attendance for MLB dipped below 73 million
for the first time since 2002. In my opinion, the
reason is partly the game’s fault but also because
of the rapidly changing landscape of technology.
Keep in mind that when baseball was in its
heyday, there was no other way to see the game
than to actually attend it. Now with the ability
to stream darn near anything, a lot of people
are choosing this easy option instead of fighting
traffic, hot and steamy weather and the bad luck of
having a seat right next to a crying kid who wants
more ice cream even though they have dropped
the first two offerings.
Technology aside, the game itself just does not
have enough going on to keep people’s attention.
Be honest with me. Does watching players basically
standing around in between pitches offer what
basketball, football or even soccer visually provide?
MLB has tried to even put a so-called “pitch clock”
in the game to prevent pitchers from taking up to
a minute or two between pitches.
Outside of the occasional home run or stolen
base, the only real action comes when a pitcher
hits a batter with his pitch and both benches clear.
What’s funny is that the pitchers in the bullpen
located over the fence in the outfield actually
run all the way to the location of the scuffle. It is
laugh-out-loud funny to me. They have to extend
the dance between opposing teams until they
get there. Then, they don’t really do a darn thing!
The fight itself is also a bit of a letdown. Most of
the scuffles just look like a ball of bait fish being
“WOULDN’T YOU
LIKE A JOB THAT
YOU COULD ONLY
SHOW UP ABOUT 32
PERCENT OF THE
TIME AND GET FULL
COMPENSATION?”
chased into a circle by a tuna. It’s just a bunch of
grown men holding each other back but not much
else g oing on. If you actually look close enough,
you can see two players that look like they’re
grabbing each other, but in reality they are just
exchanging their wives’ favorite lasagna recipe.
(I may or may not have made that last part up.)
Another aspect that is hard to swallow is the
amount of money the players are getting paid,
especially the pitchers. Keep something in mind
as I continue rant: Pitchers typically only pitch
one in every five games. That’s about 32 games
out of the scheduled 162. Seriously, wouldn’t you
like a job that you could only show up about 32
percent of the time and get full compensation?
The compensation itself is ridiculous. Zach
Greinke, a pitcher for the Arizona Diamondbacks,
is scheduled to make $34 million in 2018 alone.
He got an $18 million signing bonus and $206
million of the contract is guaranteed. I understand
the phrase “what the market can bear” when it
comes too negotiating these contracts, but for
crying out loud!
Go to a baseball game. Or don’t. It’s your time
and your money to waste (or not). Just know I won’t
be joining you…except when I get a hankering for
baseball park hot dogs, tire of checking my phone
for scores or need something to rant about.