PAUL KIGER
balancing everything and making it work.”
That, however, was becoming a thin veneer.
“On paper, I was a rock star,” he recalled, “but
I was spiritually sick. Nothing was ever enough. I
had no sense of a higher power. I volunteered for
everything, but always with selfish, self-centered
motives.”
It didn’t affect his work. But alcohol is a
depressant, and he needed to be up when he
was out networking. So there was an increasing
reliance on the Adderall, which is an amphetamine.
It becomes a spiral, and spirals usually spiral
downward.
Besides, it must have been frightening for a man
who strove for everything, only to have everything
and still not be fulfilled.
“I found out that driving a Lexus at the age of
25 did nothing for me,” he said. “By 2009 and 10,
I was drinking and overmedicating, and getting
miserable.”
checked into a treatment center,” he said. There,
he found a 12-step program that worked for him.
He also found God.
“I’d always had a conflict with God over the
whole gay thing,” he said. “But I had a spiritual
awakening. That was the biggest thing, finding
a higher power. If I were to trust the process, it
would now be OK to trust God.”
Kiger joined a church in New Albany, admitting
that what first attracted him was the architecture,
but he loved the traditional feel of the service and
the hymnal. “It was like going to church in New
Middletown with my grandmother.”
And what sealed the deal, for him, was the
church’s progressive nature and its acceptance
of the gay community.
Keep it simple
And so, it was back into the fray for Kiger. Only
It’s all part of the same “Paul personality,” said
his friend, Debby Farmer. “As much as he embraced
the lifestyle he’d had before, that’s how much he
has embraced this new lifestyle – only this is a
positive one. It’s a lifestyle that feeds his soul.”
Kiger works out three to four days a week
at Katy Hearn Gym with Chastain Schneider.
He also simplified his life, moving out of his
6,000-square-foot New Albany mansion and into
a three bedroom/two bath, 2,000-square-foot
brick ranch in Silver Hills.
He’s also remained civically active. Kiger is
involved in the City of New Albany Human Rights
Commission and is the 2019 incoming president
of SoIN, the tourism bureau of Clark and Floyd
counties.
“What we need from a president is a connection
with the community, good at networking and
partnering and a willingness to get involved and
learn,” said SoIN Executive Director Jim Epperson.
Paul Kiger with (from left) Jim Epperson,
Todd Read and Luanne
“I will not bury you”
Kiger was blasting through his Adderall meds.
In 2015, his partner Andrew got ahold of his pill
bottle. “Two weeks into my 30-day prescription
and I had only five left. It was obvious that I was
abusing. And, to make it worse, he thought I had
quit the year before.
“I’ll never forget what he said to me: ‘I will
not bury my partner. We won’t be together if
you continue to destroy yourself. I’ll still be your
friend, but I will not be your partner.’ ”
That’s when Kiger decided he was “sick and
tired of being sick and tired.”
“I stopped the drinking and the meds and
52 EXTOL : DECEMBER 2018/JANUARY 2019
this time, he was concentrating on his recovery
– and the recoveries of other alcoholics. “My
priorities changed,” he said. “I needed to be of
service, guiding others, giving to them what had
been given to me – a softer way of living. Being
part of a sobriety program saved my life.”
“I think he has learned that people will accept
him as he is,” said business partner Sarah Ring.
“He’s more settled. He doesn’t have to work so
hard at it.”
She said he’s completely focused on his recovery
now. “He meditates, prays, goes to his meetings
and is serious about taking care of himself. It’s
his new top priority.”
“And Paul is all that. He lives the SoIN lifestyle.
He’s familiar throughout the neighborhood, runs
a local business and enjoys the local nightlife. He
has enormous energy.”
Yes. Only now, it’s not an energy fueled by
cocktail glasses and pill bottles. And it’s no longer
motivated by selfish or practical concerns. It’s
all coming from somewhere else, somewhere
within – from the spirituality he has finally found.
“I’m truly happy and content,” Kiger said. “At
last, I can say that. In the past three – almost four
– years, what I have found is the true meaning
of what love is in every aspect of my life: I love
more today.”