a life in progress

By Ray Lucas

HIS SUMMER, my 5-year-old son peed on the president’ s barn.

We were on vacation and had stopped for the day at Monticello, the home of President Thomas Jefferson. While touring the historic Virginian plantation, we stepped into the presidential stable where my wife and I read about what an avid horse rider Jefferson had been during his lifetime.

I was leaving the barn toward the fenced-in pasture, where TJ’ s horses once grazed, when I heard fellow tourists giggling and clicking their camera. Curious, I turned toward the scene that held their attention and discovered my son, shorts and underwear completely around his ankles, peeing on the side of the white-washed barn so dear to Mr. Jefferson. Bare cheeks in the wind, he showed no modesty nor shame.

Containing my smile, it occurred to me in that moment that I was far overdue for a conversation with him about when a boy can and cannot pee in the yard. Walking the grounds toward the Jeffersonian mansion featured on the back of the nickel, we began our talk about being discreet while our fellow tourists were probably posting photos of his transgressions with“ Ha-ha” emoji’ s on Facebook.

The experience led me to the question,“ What other conversations in my life have I been putting off?”

I made a mental list of a few that were seriously overdue.

•“ The birds and the bees” part one with the 10-year old son and“ the birds and the bees” part two with 17-year-old son.

•“ I’ m not as crazy about the movie White Christmas as I led you to believe while dating” with wife( I think she already suspected).

•“ I’ m not so sure Simba really escaped to the woods with all of the other bunnies” explaining the untimely demise of her childhood rabbit, with now 19-year-old daughter.( Sorry, honey!)

A few weeks ago, another conversation came to mind. My wife and I allowed our 5-year-old to watch a movie he had seen the previews for and begged us to watch – King Kong. At the end of the story, our young filmgoer had grown attached to King Kong and was jumping up and down on the couch cheering each time the great ape swatted an attacking biplane out of the sky atop the Empire State Building. Even while his hero took bullets and grew weak, our boy felt certain that Kong would prevail.

Finally, as King Kong slipped from the building and fell to his death our son became sad and confused. He looked at me as if he had been betrayed. His voice quivered:“ That’ s not supposed to happen.” He couldn’ t help himself as he began to weep. He was embarrassed and crying and mad.“ Why did the

70 EXTOL • DECEMBER 2017 / JANUARY 2018