( Pictured with their daughter Joslyn , 9.5 ) Married for 10 years ; divorced for 6 years

LOVELESSONS

Mike Chesser : We met through mutual friends but didn ’ t go out for over a year . When we did , we saw “ Something About Mary .”

Mike : I ’ m always going to love her . Always . She is the best friend who never went away . It comes from the deep connection from the beginning .

Wendy Dant Chesser : There were times when we were the only ones laughing . That movie was hysterical ( she laughs when Mike says “ hysterical ” at the same time ).

Three hundred sixty-three days later , we were married . Mike was an event planner , so he handled most of the wedding details while Wendy managed the budget .

Wendy : I think we were – and we still are – there ’ s a compatibility in our personalities .

Mike : When you meet someone , I won ’ t go so far as to say it ’ s love at first sight , but you automatically connect with that person . That ’ s what it was . We knew each other . We met and had a great group of friends but didn ’ t go out for well over a year . It wasn ’ t until Wendy called my office asking for someone else and I thought , “ Well , I know that person ,” jumped on the phone and said hello because I hadn ’ t seen her in a while .

Wendy : Neither of us had ever been married before , and we were a little older .

Mike : We were just right .

After trying for several years to have a biological child , Wendy and Mike adopted their daughter , whom they met at her birth . “ I ’ m now 9 and a half ,” Joslyn said , tucking into the pancakes in front of her .

Despite the joy , a few years later , Mike and Wendy eventually opted to divorce .

Wendy : The breakdown of communication had gotten far enough . I don ’ t know that we saw a path back .

MIKE : Communication was our biggest issue .

Wendy : Which is ironic now because we communicate better than we ever have . We ’ re still family .

In fact , Mike and Wendy dissolved their marriage by asking a friend to sign the papers ( they didn ’ t use a lawyer and only needed a witness ). Today , they are known for taking their daughter on shared experiences and trips together , and bewildering people with their incrediblyamicable relationship .

Wendy : There ’ s a lot of people who still don ’ t know we ’ re not together , which makes it tough on our respective dating lives ( Wendy and Mike laugh ). … After we divorced , our first family photos were me , Mike , Joslyn , Joslyn ’ s birth mother and the dog . … The 10 years of marriage were not the easiest years of our life : We relocated to a different state , had job changes , couldn ’ t get pregnant , our house burned down four days before Joslyn was born .

Mike : But , with age and maturity comes a better knowledge and understanding . When you go through these type of life-changing situations and do a little bit of reflection and look back . That ’ s when you gain clarity and understanding . You don ’ t know what you don ’ t know . Until it hits you and you go , “ I get it . I see it .” Right , wrong and differently , you move forward .

Wendy : If you choose to bring a child into this world with this partner – like we did through adoption – think about all of the scenarios and commit yourself to focusing on the child . It makes everything else easier . Marriage is one thing , but in our society today , marriage is not always a lifelong commitment but raising a child is .

Mike : Communicate . Continue to try and a communicate . Don ’ t wall yourself off because the communication starts to break down . This often comes with age , maturity and , in some cases , counseling . … That communication side is critical .

Wendy : Our marriage may have failed , but we ’ re the best at it !

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